Today began with no special happiness or enthusiasm, just an emotionless numbness. I should have been more excited but I wasn't. I did want to do a few things differently though, partly to cut expenses, and partly for superstitions.
So I took a bus today. It's been almost two years since we moved to NYC but other than traveling in subways and taxis, I never took a bus. RE's office is 1.9 miles, something any typical Yorker would walk even in her/his sleep. Yorkers are crazily obsessed about fitness. I consider myself obese looking at them. It's hard to believe few years ago I was crazy about losing weight. I managed to have a healthy 25 lbs weight loss, got the right BMI, and looked great! Well, I'm now 30 lbs over weight- by Yorkers std I might be 40- but I procrastinate exercising just the way most kids do for their do at home studies.
Anyways, I'm glad I chose bus over taxi.. A: It saved me some money which, we really need right now. Last yr, and this as well is digging into our savings with no bonus or salary increments. Adding the expense of an out of network RE's IVF, meds, labs etc. B: Bus being a slow mover, I got to see the city prep up for Christmas. Though it was a bit rainy, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Wish the weather was better, I'd rather walk this distance. Should probably do that every day for two months to get 1 size smaller!
When I got to the RE's office, I still didn't feel any excitement, some anxiety though. It was partially about whether the meds will be mailed in in time or now, and for something else too, not sure what. I guess it was just anxiety, the only emotion I could finally feel.
While heading home I picked up the estrogen patches, and continued with my lazy day at home. Finally got a call from the RN that I could start the patches tonight. Progesterone was 10, hCG 2.
Just applied the first patch a few minutes ago, and already goofed up! It got too close to the navel. I'm so upset with myself! Damn! Should I remove this and use a new one? Would a little bit 'off the real spot' matter? Should I call RE's service line? They'd think I'm hyper... Yes I am. I've every right to be. But... they're going to work with me next 30-35 days... hmmm... let me ask DH. Knowing him he'll say "relax!". God, I need to call them.
So I took a bus today. It's been almost two years since we moved to NYC but other than traveling in subways and taxis, I never took a bus. RE's office is 1.9 miles, something any typical Yorker would walk even in her/his sleep. Yorkers are crazily obsessed about fitness. I consider myself obese looking at them. It's hard to believe few years ago I was crazy about losing weight. I managed to have a healthy 25 lbs weight loss, got the right BMI, and looked great! Well, I'm now 30 lbs over weight- by Yorkers std I might be 40- but I procrastinate exercising just the way most kids do for their do at home studies.
Anyways, I'm glad I chose bus over taxi.. A: It saved me some money which, we really need right now. Last yr, and this as well is digging into our savings with no bonus or salary increments. Adding the expense of an out of network RE's IVF, meds, labs etc. B: Bus being a slow mover, I got to see the city prep up for Christmas. Though it was a bit rainy, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Wish the weather was better, I'd rather walk this distance. Should probably do that every day for two months to get 1 size smaller!
When I got to the RE's office, I still didn't feel any excitement, some anxiety though. It was partially about whether the meds will be mailed in in time or now, and for something else too, not sure what. I guess it was just anxiety, the only emotion I could finally feel.
While heading home I picked up the estrogen patches, and continued with my lazy day at home. Finally got a call from the RN that I could start the patches tonight. Progesterone was 10, hCG 2.
Just applied the first patch a few minutes ago, and already goofed up! It got too close to the navel. I'm so upset with myself! Damn! Should I remove this and use a new one? Would a little bit 'off the real spot' matter? Should I call RE's service line? They'd think I'm hyper... Yes I am. I've every right to be. But... they're going to work with me next 30-35 days... hmmm... let me ask DH. Knowing him he'll say "relax!". God, I need to call them.
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