The dreaded monthly guest arrived today. It's just 26 days! Within 8 days of Ovulation??? Is this what I'm spending all this crazy money on acupuncture and herbs for? He promised me this month I'll have enough time after ovulation for implantation... Last month cycle was late so I was silently hoping, praying, and celebrating within. This month, I wasn't even given a chance!
While putting my second estrogen patch last night I was praying I wouldn't need an IVF, I'd be pregnant already this month. Whom am I kidding... miracles are rare, that's why they are called miracles. How would it otherwise be any different from a norm? So very, very lucky are those whose lives are touched by miracles. I wish good for them from the bottom of my heart, celebrate in their happiness but recognize that I should not have my hopes high to be one of those lucky ones. Because such people are special. Their destiny is written when God was in a generously good mood. A mood so good he chose a special paper, special ink, and blessed the lucky ones with those miracles.
For people like us, if it's not God's miracles, it's other part of the miracle- Science. While science doesn't have the powers mother nature, God or our Karma have, in all its modesty, at least science assures me of some help, gives me some consolation that all is not lost. There's still some hope, there's still some stones we're yet to turn, and still some roads we're yet to travel. That's why I like technology. It shows us a rainbow. Whether we get it or not is a different story. But we at least travel on the path where we hope to find one. If we choose to work hard, pray harder, walk hand in hand with Science, we will get there. When Science gives up, introduce it to God, and it'll be back on its feet. And some day we will get there. We will.
While putting my second estrogen patch last night I was praying I wouldn't need an IVF, I'd be pregnant already this month. Whom am I kidding... miracles are rare, that's why they are called miracles. How would it otherwise be any different from a norm? So very, very lucky are those whose lives are touched by miracles. I wish good for them from the bottom of my heart, celebrate in their happiness but recognize that I should not have my hopes high to be one of those lucky ones. Because such people are special. Their destiny is written when God was in a generously good mood. A mood so good he chose a special paper, special ink, and blessed the lucky ones with those miracles.
For people like us, if it's not God's miracles, it's other part of the miracle- Science. While science doesn't have the powers mother nature, God or our Karma have, in all its modesty, at least science assures me of some help, gives me some consolation that all is not lost. There's still some hope, there's still some stones we're yet to turn, and still some roads we're yet to travel. That's why I like technology. It shows us a rainbow. Whether we get it or not is a different story. But we at least travel on the path where we hope to find one. If we choose to work hard, pray harder, walk hand in hand with Science, we will get there. When Science gives up, introduce it to God, and it'll be back on its feet. And some day we will get there. We will.
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